Frenemies: When Friendship Isn’t What It Seems

At first glance, they smile. They laugh with you, share stories, even pray with you. They show up to the birthday party and leave heart emojis on your posts. But deep down, something feels… off.

 Ever had someone in your life who seems like a friend, but you can’t shake the sense that they don’t truly wish you well?

That’s a frenemy — part friend, part enemy.

These relationships are confusing and emotionally draining. They blur the lines between loyalty and rivalry, leaving you second-guessing yourself, your success, and your worth. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

How to Recognise a Frenemy

 Frenemies often show up in subtle ways. Their comments are laced with passive aggression. Their concern feels more like criticism. And their support? Conditional.

 Here are some common traits:

• Backhanded compliments: “You’ve really done well for someone like you.”

• Gossip disguised as concern: “I’m only telling people so they can pray for you.”

• Competition instead of celebration: You share a win, they shift the spotlight back to themselves.

• Emotional inconsistency: One day they’re cheering you on, the next they’re silent or dismissive.

How to Handle Them Gracefully

1. Set Clear Boundaries

You don’t owe anyone unlimited access. Limit what you share and protect your peace.

2. Don’t Internalise Their Projections

Often, frenemies act out of insecurity. Their behaviour says more about them than it does about you.

3. Maintain Your Integrity

Stay kind, but firm. You can be polite without pretending everything is okay.

4. Choose Who Deserves Your Vulnerability

Not everyone is entitled to your story, your wins, or your wounds. Trust is earned.

5. Let Go When Needed

If the relationship is causing more harm than good, it’s okay to quietly distance yourself. You’re not being petty — you’re being wise.

Especially for Women of Faith…

 Even in Christian circles, frenemies exist — hidden behind spiritual language and church niceties. But discernment is a gift, and boundaries are biblical. Jesus loved many, but He was closest only to a few. You can do the same.

Affirmation:

 “I am not for everyone, and that’s okay. I am surrounded by people who truly celebrate me. I release anyone who drains my peace, and I protect my joy. I walk in wisdom, love, and confidence — knowing that real friendships don’t confuse my spirit.”

If this resonates with you, remember: your peace is too precious to be trampled by confusion. Choose clarity. Choose truth. Choose relationships that water your soul, not ones that leave you thirsty for affirmation.